Boku no Kororo No Naka ni
by JudyNFran
Summary: One person's happy ending can be anothers nightmare. [Post series | Bakura and Yuugi centric]
1. 1

Bakura opened the door to his apartment, eyes shadowed by his hair as he near listlessly removed his shoes, letting his briefcase like bookbag drop to the floor. Sliding his feet into his slippers, he shuffled down the hall, undoing the buttons to his uniform jacket. He paused, looking over at the hall mirror, almost dulled brown eyes lowering slightly to look at the gold pendent that rested innocently on the chest of his reflection.  
  
His fists clenched as still unfamiliar emotions boiled up from inside him. Hate. Anger. Rage. Resentment. His nails dug into his palms harshly as his eyes narrowed. With a scream he smashed his fist into the glass, shattering his reflection and sending shards of glass flying at him.   
  
He pulled back, cradling his now bleeding hand and gave a delusional laugh that broke into a sob. Slowly, he fell to his knees, not caring if the glass bit into him. "I hate you..." he whispered fiercely as he rocked back and forth slightly. "Get out-- get out from inside me!"  
  
He tensed again as the words triggered a duel memory of when he had both spoke and heard those words spoken to him at the same moment. Grabbing hold of the Ring he ripped it off of the cord and flung it across the room.   
  
It wasn't fair. After everything that had happened, after everything he had gone though, the memory loss, the unexplained wound in his arm that had left him hospitalized, the whispering in the back of his mind that he had tried so hard to ignore, the feeling of being nothing more then a puppet on strings-- He had held on, convincing himself that once it got what it wanted, once Yuugi and his other half got what they wanted, that it would all be over and life would return to normal... No more cards, no more items, no more duels, no more nightmares...  
  
He gave a bitter laugh. For everyone else, it had been the perfect ending. The 'evil' was defeated, the energy in the items fading away as the Door closed once more, Yuugi's other, having regained his memory, fading into Yuugi as well...  
  
No one noticed, while they stared at Yuugi as became one with his other. No one noticed what had happened to him.  
  
He had once heard Yuugi comment how his other was everything he wasn't, strong, confident, courageous, good under pressure, everything Yuugi had wished to be, and had become when he merged with his other. The smaller boy had said it was like half of his soul was returning, the most wonderful feeling of being complete.   
  
To Bakura, it had felt more like rape.  
  
The festering hate of his other, the urge to cause pain and destruction, the delight in blood, the deep bitterness, the desire to have everything that had once been denied him, and sadistic glee that came with manipulating others, strong emotions the pale haired boy had never felt before pushed their way into his soul, twisting and polluting it as the spirit of his other, the other half of his soul, merged into his own.  
  
His 'friends' had thought that when he had collapsed, it had been because he had 'returned' from his other's control. When Yuugi's concerned face had appeared before him, it had taken all of his self control to keep himself from wrapping his hands around the boy's collared neck, screaming at him that it was all his fault as he squeezed the life out of him.   
  
Almost drunkenly, the pale haired boy lurched to his feet, heading down the hall, almost absentmindedly picking up the Ring from were it had fallen and tieing a fresh knot in the cord. There were already several from previous times it had broken or been torn. He would have to get a new cord, he thought idly as he entered the game room. He gave a small fond smile at the game table, pausing to tracing the spires of the castle towers of the game that was still set up. His smile shifted slightly as he ran his fingers over a slightly red stained tower, lifting his left hand to look at the pale faded scar on his palm. Maybe he shouldn't have fought his other in that game. Then Yuugi and everyone would still be with him...  
  
He turned, looking over at the cabinet, where near a hundred small figures were displaced. His smile darkening further, he opened it and pulled out a piece with long dark blue hair. "It's not just Yuugi-kun's fault," he said softly to the figure, brushing off a small speck of dust. "It's your fault too, Tousan... His eyes blazed with anger. "Mo, Tousan no sei yo!" he shouted, grabbing hold of the figures head. There was a loud snap as it broke off and Bakura's eye went wide in horror. "Tou--- Tousan..." his voice trembled, soft once more. His hand tensed around the headless figure as he brought it to his chest, head lowering as his eye began to water. 


	2. 2

"Ohayou, minna!" Yuugi called cheerfully as his friends reached his desk. "Aa! Jounouchi-kun! I have to show you this new game the shop got in!"  
  
"Another new one?!" Jounouchi near groaned. "Yuuuugi, pick one and stick with it! Ya've been switching to a new game every other day! Ya gotta gimme a chance to get the hang of something. You know how long it took me to get good with Duel Monsters!"  
  
Yuugi gave a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Gomen, gomen! I guess we've just played Duel Monsters so long I want to try all the new games I missed at once."  
  
"You and your games," Jounouchi sighed. "Yer gonna drive me broke."  
  
"You already are broke, Jounouchi," Honda grinned. "You should been putting your time into studying for your exams instead of blowing money on new games."  
  
"Bah," Jounouchi scowled. "Like you should talk, your grades are just as bad as mine!"  
  
Honda smirked. "Not anymore!" he exclaimed with triumph. "Did you see the test scores? I went up 20 points!"  
  
"Aa! That's so great!" Yuugi exclaimed happily.  
  
"Ne, Yuugi, why don't we set up a study group?" Anzu suggested. "Maybe we can even help Jounouchi pass."  
  
"Hey!" Jounouchi protested.  
  
Yuugi smiled happily as Honda and Anzu laughed at Jounouchi's attempts to defend his grades. Everything was so peaceful now... He put a hand on the side of the Sennen Puzzle, almost cradling it. He still missed his other sometimes, he still wasn't used to not hearing his voice replying to his rhetorical thoughts and having an older brother figure around all the time. But he still could feel his others's lingering presence, like an echo, in the Puzzle, and could see and hear him in his own actions and words. After everything, it all had ended so perfectly, except....  
  
As if on cue, the door to the classroom slid open. "Bakura-kun!" he called happily. "Ohaiyo!"  
  
The pale haired boy smiled and waved at him and Yuugi's eyes went wide.   
  
"Aaa!" he exclaimed, nearly jumping over his desk to go over to his friend. "Bakura-kun, what happened to your hand!" he asked, looking at the bandages in concern.  
  
Bakura gave an embarrassed smile. "I wasn't paying attention when I was washing dishes and one of the glasses shattered," he exclaimed sheepishly. "It was easier just to wrap it then put on twelve bandages."  
  
Yuugi looked up at him in concern, noting the tired lines marring the boy's face. "Bakura-kun, are you sure you're--"  
  
"I'm fine," the paler boy said almost sharply, causing Yuugi to nearly flinch at the tone. "Ah, gomen," Bakura apologized with a slight grimace that looked almost like a twitch. "I haven't been sleeping to well," he explained. "The people in the apartment next door..."   
  
Yuugi bit his lip, but nodded. He could tell Bakura was lying, but didn't feel right pushing the boy to tell him the truth.  
  
"Teacher's coming," Bakura near mumbled, pushing past Yuugi to get to his seat.  
  
Yuugi looked at his friend sadly, then moved back to his desk and sat with a sigh.  
  
Ever since everything had ended, Bakura had been acting strange. He was tense all the time, even when he seemed fine, and so far, Yuugi was the only one who noticed. When he had pointed it out to Jounouchi, Anzu and Honda, they'd just shrugged it off. 'He's gone through a lot, give him some time to deal,' Jounouchi had said.  
  
But it was more then just that, Yuugi could tell.   
  
He gave a sigh, pulling out his books. Hopefully Bakura would talk to him and tell him what was wrong....  
"All those needing to take the make up test, please stay, all others are dismissed."  
  
Yuugi sighed, looking down as his desk as Honda and Anzu gave him sympathetic looks.   
  
"We'll see ya when you get out, 'k, Yuugi?" Jounouchi ruffled the boy's hair briefly.   
  
"And then we'll study for the next one. Together," Anzu added.   
  
"Good luck, Yuugi!" Honda called as the trio left.  
  
Yuugi sighed again. Normally he, Jounouchi and Honda took the make up tests together, but their grades had started to improve while his hadn't. 'Because you spend too much time with games,' he chided himself. He gave a small sad smile as his mental voice sounded like his other's.  
  
He looked up as the teacher began to call roll. "Aki?" The teacher nodded as the boy replied. "Bakura?"  
  
Yuugi's eyes went wide and he turned, spotting the pale haired boy. Bakura was taking he make up test as well? But Bakura's grades were always better then his, sometimes even better then Anzu's!   
  
"Mutou? Mutou Yuugi?"  
  
"Aa! Hai!" he exclaimed, turning around. 'Worry about your test now, and Bakura-kun later,' he chided himself. But he couldn't help but worry....  
  
A half hour later his worry was fully on the test. With a sigh, he flipped the paper over, slowly working on the last problem. Why was the last question always the hardest? It was always--  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud snap of a pencil being broken. Blinking, he turned slightly to the sound.  
  
"Is there a problem, Bakura-san?" the teacher asked.  
  
Yuugi's eyes widened at the sight of his friend, fist clenched tightly around the broken pencil, expression almost seething with anger and frustration. He'd never seen Bakura look like that before... the pale boy was barely ever angry and always so reserved...  
  
"Eyes on your own paper, Mutou-san."  
  
Yuugi looked down at his test with a grimace.  
  
"Bakura-san, is there a problem?" the teacher asked again.  
  
There was a long pause before the boy spoke. "No," he said in a slow and deliberate tone. "I've finished...."  
  
Yuugi bit his lip, watching out of the corner of his eye as Bakura left the room. Something was definitely wrong... 


	3. 3

Bakura slammed the door behind him, barely pausing to violently kick off his shoes before storming into the hallway. Ripping open his uniform jacket, he flung it away, hurling the Ring after it, the rest of his clothing swiftly following as he headed for the shower.  
  
Angrily he turned on the hot water to full and stepped in, welcoming the scalding temperatures as the water continued to get warmer. He faced the spray, expression almost defiant as the heat attacked him. It was relaxing, the burning water pelting his skin. It was like peeling off a scab... it hurt, but feel so good.... He used to hate pain, but he now welcomed it. Something his darker half had caused, no doubt, he reflected, as he near unconsciously touched the scar on his arm his other had inflicted. He could see in his other's memory, himself with the blood on his fingers and hear the gleeful cackling. Oh, how it had hurt when he woke from that... His fingers tensed, nails digging into the pale scar tissue. Swearing softly, he pulled away, watching the blood wash away from his nails. If only everything could be washed away so easily....  
  
Yuugi hesitated outside Bakura's apartment, then took a deep breath, knocking on the door.  
  
He fidgeted as there was no answer. "Bakura-kun?" he called, knocking again. "Bakura-kun, it's me, Yuugi." He waited again, listening for any sound from inside. Water. He could hear water running. Maybe Bakura-kun couldn't hear him over the water? Carefully, he turned the knob. Finding it unlocked, he pushed open the door. "Bakura-kun?" he called. "Bakura-kun, it's--" He trailed off as he saw the state of the apartment.   
  
Bakura's torn clothing led a trail into the bathroom, where Yuugi realized the boy was showering. The potted plants in the entry were gone, a few shards of broken pottery and a dirt stain the only traces that they had ever been. There was a dent in one of the walls the size of a fist and the lone painting that remained on the wall had a crack in the glass that looked like something had been flung at it. Face lined with worry, Yuugi removed his shoes and carefully stepped into the apartment.  
  
The mirror in the hallway was just an empty frame and Yuugi bit his lip, realizing how Bakura had really hurt his hand. The game room was almost exactly the same as it had been the last time Yuugi had been over, the towers of Monster World casting strange shadows on the unlit room. Shivering slightly, Yuugi past the room, wondering why Bakura still had the game that his darker half had used to trap his friends' souls. Thoughts of the game vanished from Yuugi's mind as he entered the kitchen.  
  
There were slit-like holes in the walls, the knives that had caused them still embedded deeply near them, and the garbage can was near overflowing with broken glass and splinters of wood and plastic, some of them tainted with splotches of deep red.  
  
Yuugi stared in mix shock and horror at the destruction. 'What could have caused Bakura-kun to do this...?' he wondered. His eyes suddenly went wise. 'Masaka! Bakura-kun wa--'  
  
His froze as footsteps stopped behind him. "What are you doing here....?"  
  
Yuugi turned slowly at the cold voice. "Bakura-kun, I--" His eyes went wide at his friends appearance. Cold and almost reddish narrowed eyes, wild hair that managed to stick up despite being wet, lips curled in a silent snarl.... 'Yami no Bakura!' Yuugi exclaimed mentally as the boy took a step closer. 'Demo...' He looked at Bakura's bare chest. 'Ring ga nai...' he thought in shock, unconsciously taking a step backwards.   
  
"Yuugiiiii...." Bakura growled, advancing further, his eyes blazing, and hands shaking with uncontrolled anger. Suddenly the pale haired boy's hands shot out and wrapped themselves around Yuugi's neck, causing him to cry out. "Why the hell are you here?! Haven't you done enough?!" Bakura shouted as he squeezed, entire body shaking.  
  
"Ba...kura... ku...n..." Yuugi gasped, trying to pry Bakura's hands off him as he looked at his friend with compassion and concern.  
  
"Don't look at me like that!" Bakura near screeched, shaking growing worse as his hands began to lose their grip. "I hate you! You've come though this all unscathed while I--- while I---!!" He tried to tighten his grip again.  
  
"Bakura-kun...." Yuugi whispered, reaching out to touch his friend. "Please... this isn't you..."  
  
The boy gave a bitter laugh that turned into a choked sob. Slowly, he let go of Yuugi's neck, arms falling limply to their sides. "Oh god, Yuugi-kun..." he cried softly, falling to his knees and burring his face in his hands. "Please.... make it go away..." he near whimpered.  
  
Yuugi knelt in front of the boy, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Make what go away, Bakura-kun?" he asked softly.  
  
"Everything...." 


End file.
